that day is coming up…

If you couldn’t tell by all of the jewelry commercials, discounted chocolate, and inordinate amount of pink around you, Valentine’s Day is this weekend. As a single person, I have nothing against the day other than I can’t get a good deal on a meal for one. Other singles fret about ‘single awareness day’ and jump on match.com or tinder to fill the void. Me? I remember all of the people I know who are miserable in their relationship and then feel oddly satisfied.

My only valentine was a kid in the first grade who anonymously wrote ‘I love u’ on a card to me. I remember how red my face got, and then the panic set in about figuring out who this mystery casanova was. Short story shorter, I never found out. But, I thank that child for introducing me early to the peculiarities of boys.

And then when you get older, single older, you sometimes wonder if one vday you’ll get a surprise thing of chocolates or flowers at your office. I actually don’t like sweets and can’t keep flowers alive, so my vision is more surprise tacos and dos equis. I’m not sure where that misguided dream came from, but it’s one that I’ve had for many years even though I’ve had no guy lined up who could possibly do such a thing. I blame the movies. Guys, have you ever sent surprise flowers to a lady interest? Better question, have you ever thought of sending surprise flowers to a lady interest?

Whatever your plans, just remember that there is someone out there in the world having a lousier time than you. Kidding…kind of. Enjoy!

the vday.

02.11.14

Is something happening this week? I keep seeing endless amounts of jewelry commercials, shopping aisles lined with candy, and pink everywhere. Ohhh right, it must be time for the vday. You’re probably thinking I’m going for the clichéd single-girl-rant about how awful this day is…and you would be right.

No, not really. Just kidding. Why should one day of the year make single people feel badly about themselves? I feel badly for people in relationships all of the time. While said people are stressing over the perfect gift for their significant other, I’m relaxing in my pajamas. While people are contemplating where to go for a nice (crowded) restaurant for dinner, I’ve already picked the best place for take out. While people are going to be spending lots of money on drinks and champagne, I’m going to be spending lots of money on, well, drinks too.

And, no, I’m not bitter, not at all. Seriously, you can own your singleness and not be a mess on the inside. So, eat your chocolate from your parents, open that vday card from your grandma, and live it up. After all, you can do whatever you want.

the single woman.

01.14.14
There comes a time in a single woman’s life when she begins to own it. To discover new things. To embrace flaws. To celebrate life. And to not give a damn about what others think. Single ladies in their twenties tend to get a lot of negative comments from family, friends, or sometimes even strangers. Those negatives can include, but should not be limited to; not having a husband, not starting a family, not bothering to attract a partner, questions about sexual orientation, or counting down the ticks of that ridiculous biological clock. People tend to get a little crazy about the single woman in her twenties. They tend to get even crazier when said woman is proud and strong.

Though, some women may claim that we are just ‘hiding feelings of loneliness’, and that we really aren’t ‘content with our lives’ sans a significant other. You can’t please everyone. There will always be someone who has an issue with something. But, we shouldn’t worry about that. It’s minuscule in the grand scheme of things that has become our lives.

Take it with a grain of salt, or simply shake it like a salt shaker, it is your life after all.

the approach.

12.18.13

It’s always been a humorous thing to watch girls and guys try to approach one another in some form of introduction/flirtation. In your twenties, it just becomes lazy. And it becomes even lazier in the online world of dating.

When you’re younger, the game of will s-he/won’t s-he is a constant battle. A hard-fought series of awkward encounters. After you’ve experienced the playing field a bit more, you come to know what to expect from the approach. In college, drinks play a major role in this debacle. The surge of confidence which drinks can provide makes the first encounter a lot easier, but may lead to a morning bout of poor decisions.

After college, the game has morphed into a haphazard attempt at striking up a conversation with a stranger. We’re adults now. That ‘what’s your major‘ line isn’t going to work any longer. A bit of effort needs to be put in. Some seem to turn to the ‘what do you do for a living‘ line as a more mature approach to the college major question. It’s still boring, and something that I know I don’t really want to talk about. Ask me something fun, or do something spontaneous. Odds are I’m sitting here at happy hour trying to forget the work week I just had, not engage in conversation about it.

The online approach is probably the laziest, most hilarious form of meeting someone that I’ve ever come across. For some reason, sitting behind a computer, typing away, creates a false sense of bravado for people. Bold statements, pathetic pick up lines, and indecent pictures tend to be the norm. Seriously. Try it out…if you’re game.

the first date.

11.25.13

If you’re still single in your twenties, the dating scene tends to transform into quite the interview process. And it’s horrible. First dates now consist of serious questions and plans. Instead of playing the ‘what’s your favorite ____’ game, you’re both giving an in depth background of your education, employment, and most favorable traits. Rather than having a fun conversation, you’re discussing where you see yourself in a couple years. Do you like kids? Do you want a dog? Are you financially stable?

In one evening, you’re both trying to figure out whether or not you’ll fit in each other’s lives. That’s a lot to take in for just the first date. But, we’re older now. We may not want to waste our time if we know it just isn’t going to work. We don’t have a lot of time, according to certain family members or friends in relationships. I should just finish my soup, shake hands, and say “thank you, while I believe you have many qualities that would fit this position, I’ll be heading in a different direction”.

Hmm, no wonder people have turned to online dating. I should just check out linkedin profiles and skip the rest. Unless, I want a nice meal of course.

the single life.

11.13.13

 

A funny thing happens when you hit the quarter life point and you’re still single. People think it’s perfectly acceptable to ask you questions like ‘why are you single’, ‘how come you’re not with someone’, ‘when are you going to start a family’, ‘are you going to be forever alone‘? Ok, maybe we ask ourselves that last one, but there is truth to the rest. These questions are especially abundant during the holiday season.

Apparently, your twenties are the deciding decade for you to find a compatible partner, get married, start a family, and then… Well, that seems to be it. You’ve accomplished everything that people ask you about. Picket fence, check.

I believe the mid-twenties single population is divided into three categories: happily single (me!), miserably-single-must-find-my-life-partner-now-anyone-please, or could care less. You’ve got the people that are content with their life at the moment, not worrying that their ‘biological clock’ is dying a slow death, and focusing on the now. You’ve got the people who are urgently trying to find the love of their life in any way possible via online dating, meet-ups, or completely random (what are the odds!) run-ins…right. And you’ve got the people who just don’t really care that much. Whichever category you fall under is perfectly acceptable as long as it’s what you want when you want it.

I must admit, the single life is good to me. So, the next time someone asks why it is that I’m single, I’ll just have to go with: ‘I think I’m just really crazy and have a ton of issues but my nine cats are totally ok with it. Byeeee’.