Boop de doo. Is that how the song goes? I’m so awful at lyrics.
Well, it’s that time of year again, friends. According to my facebook feed, it’s the season for santa visits, baking cookies, and making actual baby jesuses. For me, it’s a little different: santa bar crawls, eggnog candy cane moonshine shots, and all of the ugly sweaters I can throw on myself. Holidays as a single does not have to scream forever alone. Instead, watch home alone, and feel better about your life choices.
One thing I have noticed this holiday is that dudes from Christmas past have been coming out of the woodwork. We used to hook up in college, haven’t talked in years, oh now would be a great time to rekindle that dead flame? I get it, no one wants to be alone on christmas. However, that does not mean finding a random person, randomly talking to a person you no longer speak to, or being random and targeting the only other single person in your group of friends. Has this been happening to anyone else?
Standard table talk is another obstacle during this time. I should find my old talkboy and have the following on repeat: “Yes, I still live at home. Work is fine. No, I’m not seeing anyone. Yes, I do plan on moving out sometime soon. No, please don’t set me up. No, thank you. I mean, no.” It’s pretty much the same routine from Thanksgiving, which was a month ago.
Finally, you’ve got the dreaded holiday work parties to sit through. Now, I usually don’t mind them because I’m a big fan of dip. But, they’re still totally awkward. Again with the small talk. Again with explaining whatever current situation you got going on. And that fake laughter to see yourself out of a dull conversation. Just allow me to pull up a chair next to the appetizer table and let me be. I’ll eventually roll on out of here at some point.
Just think, a few days after this fiasco we have to plan for new years eve. Swell.