house hunting lessons…

It’s been a couple months since I started my own HGTV version of House Hunters. I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I didn’t think it would be this annoying. Sure, pinterest fills your mind with false hope and unrealistic expectations. Sure, you’ve got expensive taste on a minuscule budget. But, there has to be something out there, right, maybe? I’ve put together some additional lessons if you too are attempting this feat:

Lesson A: If there are no pictures, the house will not be an Aladdin-style diamond in the rough. There are no pictures for a reason. There’s nothing worthwhile to take a picture of. The camera would have turned itself off. Only if you’re in this for an entire reno, should you go to the open house for said picture-less house. Be wary, my friends.

Lesson 2:  Taxes are your worst nightmare. Taxes are also a thing that you have to think about. You could love the house, but if the taxes are ridiculous, your bank man will not let you make an offer (well, for me at least). You should scroll to the tax listings on a house first before you look at the pictures and start to see yourself there. Those things could crush your dreams. Awesome house + frighteningly high taxes = wreckage of crushed dreams.

Lesson D: Google maps ‘street view’ and ‘earth view’ are your best resources. I was not blessed with the gift of navigation so maps have helped me figure out where in the county the listing is. I was blessed with the gift of eyeballs so I can actually read a paper map. Those do still exist. For those of you who are direction-savvy, the street view can give you a much clearer idea of what the house looks like, how big the lot is, and much distance is between you and your potential new neighbors. Drop the little yellow man and be amazed. Or let him dangle for a bit, then drop him. Whatever you’re into.

This is still a learning process, a very lengthy learning process, but I’m getting there. It’s all fun and games until someone sees an eyesore of a house and freaks the eff out…thanks, mom.

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