bye february…

The shortest month of the year comes to a close this weekend. In Buffalo, it’s also been the coldest month on record. Seriously. Our average temperature was never above freezing for 28 days. And I’m over it. Usually, I hate being that person who complains about the weather. I get it, I choose to live here, it is winter after all, but no. I’m done. Even Tim Horton’s roll up the rim contest can’t save me now.

My skin is cracking in all the wrong places. My makeup shades are entering translucent territory. And my cabin fever is hitting a breaking point…PANCAKES! I could do the obvious Frozen joke here with all of those small children constantly singing Dazeem’s song, but I should be better than that. I huddle around a space heater for the majority of my work day. I layer sweaters on top of sweaters. I can’t remember the last time the sun hit my face.

March, here’s hoping we make a turnaround. Though, as a native western new yorker, my hopes are at about a 0, which also happens to be tonight’s low.

What’s your weather situation looking like where you live? Can it possibly get much worse?

the ones who peaked in high school.

02.17.15

Ever since I moved back to my hometown, I’ve noticed that not a lot of people have left. And there may be nothing wrong with that, but when said people seem to think they’re better than everyone else, that’s when I start to have a problem. You know, the ones who peaked in high school. The ones who still hang out in their cliques talking about everyone else. How sad.

I am most definitely not the same person I was when I was 15. Who would want to be? I had braces, was quiet but friendly, and had zero ‘cool’ status. I wasn’t bullied, I never talked about people behind their backs, and wasn’t really a troublemaker. Maybe that’s how I survived it all. If I had to compare myself to the hunger games, I would be that ginger who hid for the entire thing until food got the best of her. Lay low, avoid people, then go to college and become awesome…key life advice. You’re welcome.

If I were to go out to a local bar in town, I would most definitely run into a group of my former classmates. If they’re still talking about what happened in high school, then I truly feel sorry for them. It’s been fifteen years since we were freshman, FIFTEEN! Surely, more interesting things have happened to you in over a decade.

I also hope that people don’t recognize me. Like how Rachel Leigh Cook was magically transformed via glasses. But, really, why should we care what people from our past think of us now. We’ve moved on. We’ve done things. Yes, we can tell funny stories from the past, but we have so much more to tell. We have yet to peak.

Three finger salute, yall…or should it be one finger??

that day is coming up…

If you couldn’t tell by all of the jewelry commercials, discounted chocolate, and inordinate amount of pink around you, Valentine’s Day is this weekend. As a single person, I have nothing against the day other than I can’t get a good deal on a meal for one. Other singles fret about ‘single awareness day’ and jump on match.com or tinder to fill the void. Me? I remember all of the people I know who are miserable in their relationship and then feel oddly satisfied.

My only valentine was a kid in the first grade who anonymously wrote ‘I love u’ on a card to me. I remember how red my face got, and then the panic set in about figuring out who this mystery casanova was. Short story shorter, I never found out. But, I thank that child for introducing me early to the peculiarities of boys.

And then when you get older, single older, you sometimes wonder if one vday you’ll get a surprise thing of chocolates or flowers at your office. I actually don’t like sweets and can’t keep flowers alive, so my vision is more surprise tacos and dos equis. I’m not sure where that misguided dream came from, but it’s one that I’ve had for many years even though I’ve had no guy lined up who could possibly do such a thing. I blame the movies. Guys, have you ever sent surprise flowers to a lady interest? Better question, have you ever thought of sending surprise flowers to a lady interest?

Whatever your plans, just remember that there is someone out there in the world having a lousier time than you. Kidding…kind of. Enjoy!

another month closer…

January has come and gone in a way too blustery, arctic way. It is freezing in Buffalo, and we’re used to miserable and cold, so that’s saying a lot. At the beginning of the new year I talked about my countdown to thirty and learning to embrace the age. Luckily, to take my mind of the impending doom, a couple of my friends and I have decided to plan a summer vaca to Italy, Greece, and Morocco to finish out our twenties.

I like to travel. I like to see more of the world than western new york. It adds to my perspective that not everyone is an American idiot, sort of kidding, I’m sure you’re not one of those. I miss old Green Day.

Anyways, I’ve been to Europe twice before, once when I was 22 all wide-eyed and lost, and again when I was 27 all cool and cultured.  The first time I went to Wales, England, France, and Ireland. My mom told me to tell everyone I was Canadian because she was losing her mind that her only child would be across the pond free to be taken. Sidenote: the movie Taken came out after I left Paris, which was a good thing because I was the blonde one in our group of two who couldn’t speak French and always looked lost. But, everyone knew we were American just by looking at us.

The second time I spent two weeks in London, trying desperately to blend in with the peoples. I went with a group of college students, and they stuck out like a sore arm, yea, that much. I try to fit in so that a.) people don’t take advantage of me, two.) maybe someone would offer me a job and I’d just have to stay for life, and/or d.) I meet a guy because that’s supposed to happen in every city you go to, thanks for that one Mary-Kate and Ashley. (I am not ashamed to say that Winning London is a favorite of mine)

So, I need some adventure in my life. Also some sweet, sweet wine and Greek gods food.

Have you been to Italy, Greece, or Morocco? Do you have any travel tips to share?

the house hunt.

02.03.15

There are some key life points that you hit which make you really feel like an adult. Paying off your student loans. Figuring out the electric and gas bills. Leaving the bar early because the average age is 22. And then there are those big purchases like a home. Well, I’ve hit that point. I’m on the house hunt.

It’s a good thing I’ve been sucked into HGTV marathons for years now because that is valuable info when trying to find a house to buy. I had my own first episode of House Hunters this past weekend. Ya know, you see the pictures online from what your realtor sent. You fall in love with the pictures and can’t stop picturing yourself there. Then you see it in person and think my god what a dump. Lesson one: pictures are deceiving, do not trust them.

I’ll be honest. I have no idea what I’m supposed to be looking for or asking during a showing. I mean, I can search on pinterest all I want for first-time home buyer’s guides, but all that goes out the window when I’m in the house. I’m supposed to look for cracks, but what kind of crack are we talking? The yard slopes, what exactly does that mean for me? The realtor says some things are going to need to be replaced, so who’s buying? There are three dogs incessantly barking at me from the neighbor’s house behind, how do I get rid of them? Those kinds of things. Lesson two: write your questions down.

So, yes, while searching for a home may make you feel all adult-like, actually going to see the house may make you feel like a small child who has no idea what you’re getting yourself into. Lesson three: accept that you have no idea what you’re doing.

Hey, Property brothers, I’m close enough to Canada, come down and help a girl out.

how are those resolutions holding up…

So, we’re a few weeks into the new year when gym memberships are at an all-time high and people are pinning healthy recipes like crazy. I know I suck at resolutions so I just don’t make them. Last year, I tried this ‘new year, better me’ ultimate cheese motto thing, and never did anything to change my lifestyle or mindset. It sounded great, and I even made a fancy iphone wallpaper, but that was about it.

I get the whole idea behind new year resolutions. A fresh start. A new beginning. Blah. But, what have you been doing the other eleven months out of the year? People seem to use the January 1 to completely reinvent themselves, and then get upset when it doesn’t pan out. Think: ‘I’m going to go vegan, but Monday through Sunday are my cheat days’. Or ‘I’m going to the gym for an hour, and then come home and eat cheetos on the couch while I nap’. Oh wait, that one is me. I can eat while I sleep, apparently.

I think if you just lower your expectations to about none, then things will seem brighter.

Aim low, and then aim even lower. You’ll love the results.

the youtube generation.

01.15.15

I grew up when the internet was just becoming a thing. I fondly remember the dial up tone while I waited for the little yellow AOL man to run right. I taught myself HTML, and created a few Buffy websites, because I was that girl in middle school. But, times have changed. Teeny boppers will never struggle with trying to use the phone while someone’s ‘online’, or understand that the # symbol wasn’t created by Twitter. One thing that’s really stupid overwhelming, is that these kids videotape (which isn’t even the right word, man my old is showing) record themselves all of the time and then post it for the entire world to see. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my fair share of youtube videos: female comedians, beauty tips, CATS. But, now everyone seems to be trying to get their 15 seconds of internet fame by doing something stupid and sharing it. I’m looking at you, boot in the face train guy.

Sure, there’s a hint of jealousy there. Why did I bother going to college and getting a job for the past twelve years, if I could have quadrupled my salary just by posting videos of me ‘buying’ stuff? Or why should I spend my own money buying products when I could have a review channel and have the companies send me stuff for free? Which by the way, having a ten-year-old giving me makeup tips freaks me out. Mostly because they still have those small child eyebrows that aren’t fully developed so they just end up looking like sad little caterpillars? Is that just my thinking? Do you not pay attention to small child eyebrows?

I guess I’m just that old lady who doesn’t get the youtube generation. I tried taking a video of myself, it’s a weird thing that made me realize my entire face is crooked. Yea, I won’t even get into the cyber bullying these kids now have to deal with when they put themselves out there like that. See the: do you think I’m pretty videos. Can we go back to myspace or when facebook was exclusively for college students?

I should state that it’s not all bad. There are channels out there doing great things, creating change, and other cheese. I love that ‘look up’ video about not staring down at your phone for 24+ hours of your day. But, I guess that’s the beauty of the internet…you can watch what you want to watch, you talk with whoever you want to talk with, and trolls are no longer creepy dolls with jewels for bellybuttons.

Seriously, trolls.